Saturday, 23 April 2016

When Times Passes

I've wanted to blog again and yet, it hasn't happened for a very long time.  It is too long of a story to talk about what happened to my time.  The short story is I had a job and it was too consuming, too overwhelming, too upsetting and I left.

So now, I'm at a crossroads yet again in my life, wondering what to do next and what will work for me.  I was so unhappy for so long that I don't want a repeat of that experience.  I had days when I cried and just felt so utterly alone, desperate to have something, to feel more positive and it wasn't happening.  I had moments when I felt like I was suffocating, just alone with my thoughts.  I would come home, be surrounded by two other people and still feel utterly empty.  Days turned into weeks and then months.  I realise that is deeply personal, all of this but maybe you'll understand...sometimes you just have to walk away.

However, out of something bad, something good came out of it.  I knitted a cardigan, I designed it myself and I live in it.  I wanted something that would be a classic style that I would just treasure for years, that would be me.  

Here it is for your viewing pleasure:

I am going to write up the pattern and have it published on raverly where you can buy the  pattern. Not the cardigan as that is my labour of love, it was my sanity, my quiet time away from all the demons in my heart and in my head.  I will give you the link when I finish the pattern.

From now on, between jobs, it will be my creative time, MY time, doing the things that make me remember there is more to life than stress and emptiness.  I feel like I've been stuck in a loop for so long, just going in circles, chasing my tail and I'm just exhausted so wish me luck on my next venture.


  1. Just stumbled across your blog. I had to comment as I've just quit my job too. Just got to the end of the day and knew I couldn't do another day. I'm going to be frugal, be mindful of my health and well-being and maybe learn to knit. I love your cardi. Wish I'd paid more attention to my lovely mother who knitted so beautifully. I've inherited her needles and some lovely wool so maybe I will, now I have the time and the peace. I will have to get another job at sometime (I'm a registered nurse) but let's enjoy our break. Rose UK

  2. Hello Sparkiedoll,
    I really need to keep this up to date more regularly. I'm so sorry that I haven't responded sooner. Everything you say rings so true. I was a teacher working 13 hour days under pressure all the time and I just reached breaking point, which is probably why I haven't been blogging as it was deeply upsetting at the time. I felt like a failure, to be honest. However, I'm now knitting and sewing again and looking for a more low key job. Lovely to know I'm not alone. I'd love to know what you are doing now!