Saturday, 23 April 2016

When Times Passes

I've wanted to blog again and yet, it hasn't happened for a very long time.  It is too long of a story to talk about what happened to my time.  The short story is I had a job and it was too consuming, too overwhelming, too upsetting and I left.

So now, I'm at a crossroads yet again in my life, wondering what to do next and what will work for me.  I was so unhappy for so long that I don't want a repeat of that experience.  I had days when I cried and just felt so utterly alone, desperate to have something, to feel more positive and it wasn't happening.  I had moments when I felt like I was suffocating, just alone with my thoughts.  I would come home, be surrounded by two other people and still feel utterly empty.  Days turned into weeks and then months.  I realise that is deeply personal, all of this but maybe you'll understand...sometimes you just have to walk away.

However, out of something bad, something good came out of it.  I knitted a cardigan, I designed it myself and I live in it.  I wanted something that would be a classic style that I would just treasure for years, that would be me.  

Here it is for your viewing pleasure:

I am going to write up the pattern and have it published on raverly where you can buy the  pattern. Not the cardigan as that is my labour of love, it was my sanity, my quiet time away from all the demons in my heart and in my head.  I will give you the link when I finish the pattern.

From now on, between jobs, it will be my creative time, MY time, doing the things that make me remember there is more to life than stress and emptiness.  I feel like I've been stuck in a loop for so long, just going in circles, chasing my tail and I'm just exhausted so wish me luck on my next venture.